To the Female Players


#1

Just curious but when you all play, do you only tend to play with mates, when putting on a mic? Or do you take the risk and plug one on in public and hope for the best?

I say this because I recall a moment where a poor girl just got completely ripped up in some game some time ago. She was trying to just play because mics help with communication and alls, but then the female sex slave, kitchen jokes, etc came in. I really felt for her, and I still can’t figure out why I didn’t speak out (and I’m a pretty outspoken guy, l mean what the hell!). At the end she just quietly left, no hissy fit, no knee jerk reactions, one off statement before signing off. Just.Like.That. It blew my mind that she at times tried to laugh off the less “harsh” statement. I mean f*ck, I’m not the fella to feel for others a ton but geez, I wonder when people know when the lines been crossed…

So again I reiterate, what do you guys and gals do in these situations?


#2

(post withdrawn by author, will be automatically deleted in 24 hours unless flagged)


#3

That doesn’t make it okay at all. I don’t care that there are mute and ignore options, the fact that other people of my gender think it’s okay to spout of sexist jokes when someone is just trying to play is ridiculous. Whenever I speak into the mic, I don’t get a slew of jokes thrown at me, and neither should the girl this post references or any woman that plays Evolve or any game for that matter.

There is zero benefit to that behavior. None. So why do it.


#4

Hell I’m all for the most controversial of jokes, but have you ever heard them to the point that it just plain annoys you? I knew a fella on xbox for a 1 year+. But when the topic came to something down to earth (stuff in the middle east), down came the terrorist jokes by the truckload. I mean this stuff was literally raining with no end. I eventually got sick of it and defriended and blocked the fella.


#5

It’s regrettable, but there are still plenty of people like that. In fact, Evolve is the first game ever that I thought the ability to communicate with the team may trump the hassle of potential harassment. And, if I’m honest I am usually “hunting” with a male friend.

The very best advice I can give is to speak up if you’re in a group hearing that hogwash happen. And I know it’s not easy to do so, but a lot of the people on the end of the harassing - be it women, ethnic minorities, whatever - appreciate it when someone does speak up.

This was a great article from a while back…I thought it had some good insight on the subject and what might be done. :smile:


#6

Oh no don’t worry about that I do speak up, I guess then the guys were ok before she joined. Once a dude gets on my good side, it’s not easy for me to turn all nasty. I personally think my mind has twised the info somewhat, the “jokes” were more kitcheny and dinner related.


#7

I talk. I give directions, not just pings. I get rude comments ( " Are you a little 12 year old faggot? " " Are you a boy or a girl? " etc ).

If I get trash-talked, I mute myself and the shit-talker(s). I make a point to roflstomp the shit out of the shit-talkers when I get my monster round. I will drag a match on for as long as I can, typically sparing the ones who didn’t participate in the bullshit.

( They normally ragequit before it gets boring, thankfully. )


#8

For some reason everytime i see a girl gamer it seems im meeting a god, something in me tells me to be polite, problem is, i become TOO much polite, so… imagine a king and his subjects.


#9

And sometimes those jests are in fun. ^^; I’m sure it’s relatively easy to know if it’s not the case. I played with a guy for a while who’s opening queries when someone joined the party involved race and religion (not in a good way, lol). It’s just uncalled for.

I guess it comes down to context and familiarity before unleashing what you intended as a “harmless” joke.


#10

Interesting topic here… I tend to play with a bunch of female gamers, however the vast majority are male. The sad part is, I have to either warn most of the male gamers that they are coming into a room with a female (like they never talked to one before) and to be respectful.

I also find myself being the mouthpiece if they start talking trash. I tend to introduce all my female gamers to each other and to the male gamers I know won’t spout off sex jokes and crap instantly.

The other thing is, some of these female gamers are incredible, not just at games but personally as well. The reason you don’t hear from them as much on the mic is because of the crap they have to endure. Just be respectful and everything will be fine.


#11

It definitely depends on the context, as @CrescentEmpress states. But, I feel that the particular context of this thread seemed to make it a hostile one, not one in “good humor.”

I suppose it’s just a sticking point for me, in general. This concept of free speech. Yeah, I think you should be allowed to say what you want. But what USE is there in saying something that is purely derogatory and infringes on another person’s security as a person, whether that’s disparaging their gender, their religion, their body, etc. Great power comes great responsibility and all that.

People play games to have a good time, to enjoy themselves. They shouldn’t be subjected to an environment where they feel they cannot be themselves and have fun.


#12

This, man.

When I tell my dudefriends about all the crap I hear and/or deal with, they have problems believing it. They don’t see it, so they’re not aware. I feel this issue is going to dissipate slowly, but there will always be a bunch of socially-backwards fucks that are out there to ruin your day.


#13

Indeed, may be one in a million, but there is THAT guy waiting for the right time to screw you over.


#14

Yea, @sannom sad but true.

The other thing people (mostly males) don’t take into account is that each gamer, female or male, has their own limit as to what is acceptable. Just cause one female might be ok with the dirtiest joke around, doesn’t mean the next one will be as well. Same thing with shit talking.

Also I’m on xb1 same GT, if any females want to meet a few other cool female gamers and have a harassment free time, feel free to add me. I’d give out some of my friends GT but don’t think they would be to happy about that…lol


#15

In all my time playing evolve I haven’t met 1 girl with a mic in pubs. I feel like I won the lotto when I run into anyone with a mic at all. Although, my number could be skewed because I am a monster main and as such don’t get as many hunter matches, but, well, I do have all the hunters elite too.


#16

-It’s hard to contemplate starvation with a full belly-

Even if I wanted to relate I just couldn’t. I’d literally fall over laughing if a group, no matter how large and demeaning, tried to make fun of me because of I was born with between my legs. Insults immediately become invalid.

I sadly disagree with your opinion on the issue slowly dissipating. A big wig suddenly flaunting his decisions on what’s morally right or not, will not impede in any way what the masses think, do, or behave. People change people, not some schmuck in a business tie. Unless it’s imprinted to all that it’s wrong, expect this till old age and beyond unfortunately.


#17

I love you for this comment, and I’m a dude.


#18


#19

I ran into a game which had a girl with a mic.
Everyone ignored her, and I didn’t have a mic at the time to contribute.
She would say that the monster would be sneaking over here, or the trapper was out of reach of the shield gun.
They would walk right past the monster. And I know for a fact they didn’t mute her.
Some people really get on my nerves.
@SledgePainter


#20

Ha, this is good.

I haven’t personally run into harassment, thankfully, but I also don’t throw on a mic in most games. I like to get to know people a little before gaming with them so I know if we can joke around, talk about random stuff and have fun. I’m not much for playing seriously and I’m not very competitive. So, I know to steer clear of people who are like that and frankly, those are generally the guys with the d-bag attitudes.