The Thread for really bad jokes


This might be kinda morbid, but what did the guy without an arm say to his friend when he fell on the ground?

give me a hand, will you?


My parents are wierd.
My mom dresses up like my dad.
And my dad dresses up like my mom.

They’re transparent


I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. No idea what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.


Why does Piglet smell?
Because he plays with Pooh.


What did one piece of poop say to the other piece of poop?

You smell like poo

Hey, it is a thread for terrible jokes!


that reminded me of this…

This is the only picture to ever make me laugh so hard I cried.


I can levitate birds but noone cares.


“Why is it a penny for your thoughts” when “you have to put your 2 cents in” ?

Somebody’s making a penny.

I spilled spot remover on my dog and now he’s gone

I played poker with tarot cards.

I got a full house and 4 people died.


On my way to work I saw an advert in a shop window that said: “Television for sale, $1, volume stuck on full.” - I thought to myself, ‘I can’t turn that down.’


Do you think if someone was afraid of Obama, they would be Barachnophobic


Knock knock

Who’s there?

Broken pencil

Broken pencil who?

forget it, it’s pointless


A teacher says to her class one day, “Whoever answers my next question, can go home.” A girl throws her bag out the window.

The teacher asks, “Who just threw that?”

The girl says, “Me! I’m going home now.”


I always try to avoid aeroplane jokes because they go over people’s heads.

Did you hear that Finland are putting barcodes on the side of their military vessels? The idea is that instead of counting ships back, they can just Scandinavian.

Claustrophobic astronauts love being in space.

I saw a man wearing rags riding a lopsided moped. He really needed to change attire.

Only the richest Buddhists can afford a Subway, because they always ask the sandwhich artist to make them one with everything.

Frankenstein entered a body building competition. However, he was asked to leave after it became apparent that he had misunderstood the objective.


An irishman walked out of a bar.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I have a gun
Get in the van


This is the funniest thing in the thread


It took me a pint of thought to string that one together


An owl and a squirrel are watching a farmer go by, the owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing because birds can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because its a bird of pray.

Person:"weak bird pun"
Me:Toucan play this game.

A man walks into a bar.
His alcohol addiction is tearing his family apart


Girlscout cookies, delicious snd nutritious.


If your nose is really runny, and you think it’s kinda funny, well it’s snot.


Baggy, the anorexic elephant.