I used to tell bad jokes all the time… Untill I took an arrow to the knee.
I may have posted this joke a while back, but it is still one of my favourite jokes.
A young man starts a new job at the zoo and is given three tasks.
First he has to clear the weeds from the exotic fish pool. As he does this, a piranha jumps out and bites him. In a panic, he beats it to death with a spade. Realising his employer won’t be best pleased, he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.
Moving on to the second job of cleaning out the primate house, he is attacked by two aggressive chimpanzees, who pelt him with coconuts. He swipes wildly at the two chimps with his spade, killing them both. What can he do? Feed them to the lions, of course, because lions eat anything. He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.
He moves on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South American bees. As soon as he starts, he is attacked by a swarm of angry bees. He grabs the spade and smashes several of them to a pulp. He throws them into the lion enclosure, because lions eat anything.
Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another lion and asks, “What’s the food like here?”
The lion replies: “Absolutely brilliant, today we had fish and chimps with mushy bees.”
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No i-dea. (No eyed deer)
What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?
It really hurts my feelings when someone feels the need to explain something incredibly obvious.
(I got the joke and didn’t need the explanation in parentheses)
That first one is gold.
Well. I’ve seen a lot of people always responding with “I don’t get it.” So I am so very terribly sorry if my explanation for one joke hurt you. ;/
Ok,i am now open an increasingly verbosal meme,just pm me and send your picture,catchphrase and i will do the same thing i did to/for Axilla .
Also since english is not my native language,feel free to correct me as this will help me learning more effectively.
Also,you have been warned
My favourite picture.
You… Didn’t see the irony… Or do I not see you continuing a joke?
Am duck please throw bread quack
Hi people,I am a duck,please proceed to do give momentum to the food known as bread,i proceed to yell
Greeting human being,i would like to inform you that i am a species that have the name of a verb that can be similar to evade,and transfer your energy from your hand to the eatable nutrition in order to make it travel through space,i will now add credit to my identity by making noise with my mouth
I,a Animalia which name had been define by scientists as Anas platyrhynchos,communicate to homo sapiens,is very much desire for an action preformed by you,which would be making your electron repel electron,whose belong in processed wheat flour that can be consume by many living being,in a fashion that would enable me to consume such object i mentioned above.Im also create vibration that propagates as a typically audible mechanical wave of pressure and displacement, through a transmission environment to prove my credibility as a biologic organism that would usually feed by you,thus increase my possibility of such action said above to be happen
Phew,that cost me an hour,i hope i worth it @ToiletWraith
This is beautiful.
what do you call a mix of a hippopotamus, an elephant ,and a rhino?
a h-eleph-ino (hell if I know)
i don’t usually hate threads, but even i have to admit this is pretty bat man…
######WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN’T DO THAT BECAUSE I’M THE OP
Time for the ultimate bad dinosaur joke.
Why can’t you here a pteranadon go to the bathroom?
Because the P is silent!
OK it’s time for some question
What’s red and taste sour ?
Are you sure you not insta-click on this buttion ?
Ok just give it a minute and the answer will come to your head.You done ?.Here come the answer
[details=Summary]Lemon, i lied about the red color
I couldn’t remember how to retrieve a boomerang, but then it came back to me.
How do ladder encourage the stair ?
“Step it up mate”
No one has posted on this thread since LAST YEAR!
(This counts as a bad joke.)