“I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech’ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter ‘Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite’.”
This thread is what I needed today, thank you.
A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff…ba dum tss.
Where did Sally goes when the bomb exploded ?
What’s updo- Oh fuck you dude.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
What does the circle shape sells ?
Me:"Empty your pocket"
Me:“Cause you just stole my heart”
That was pretty raw.
Oh I got TONS of these.
How do you make soup gold ?
You put in fourteen carrots.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back ?
What do you call a magician’s dead assistant ?
What did one wall say to the other ?
Meet you at the corner.
What has two heads, four eyes, six legs and a tail ?
A horse and its rider !
What did the green grape say to the purple one ?
BREATHE, stupid ! BREATHE !
Like I said, TONS. Let me know if anyone needs more.
Well, apart from shitty Elder Scrolls puns, I’m out.
I love this topic already.
A Roman man walks into a bar. He goes up to the barman, holds up two fingers and says “five pints please.”
No. I’ve heard this joke too much and I hate it! In the joke it never specifies that he held the 2 fingers like a V so it doesn’t work.
I think it’s time for some anti-humor:
Why does the chicken cross the road ?
Because it can walk
Why did the orange stop halfway across the road?
Cause it ran out of juice!
Doctor doctor, I only have 59 seconds left to live!
Just a minute.
What happened to the car with a wooden engine?
It wooden go.
Doctor doctor, I think I am going blind!
You are most certainly right, this is the post office.
What kind of mistake does a ghost make?