The Russian with no Vodka

Markov is a strange Russian… maybe it’s because he’s from space and not exactly from Russia but DAMN IT! HE HAS THE ACCENT! AND NO RUSSIAN ACCENT WITH A RUSSIAN NAME IS COMPLETE WITHOUT HIS VODKA!!!

I wonder if Vodka did something bad for him awhile back… maybe he electrocuted his dog and now works the with lightning to make something “good” come from his connection with electricity. Maybe it’s why he looks forward to battle and glory so much… a chance to die a man and fall into a deep sleep to help him finally forget what he did.

He must be a sad Russian. No sane Russian would even NOT remotely mention his or somebody else’s Vodka. Maybe he keeps a small stache somewhere… he takes a sip every once in awhile… just enough to remind him the foul or delicious taste that brought him so much pain to him emotionally and to remind him of the pain he brought his dog.

One day he will die the way he wanted… in a fight to save people and a flaming or shocking blaze of glory! Or he will die to a rock to the face from a certain cutscene…

He then finally know peace. He will no longer feel regret or remorse. He will finally sleep.

And then Lazarus shows up… prick.

1 Like

Martian*

Rhymes with Russian, no?

He’s obviously of Russian descent.

Y’know, I’ve typed out about four witty comments but they’re all turning out way to cheesy. I tried!!! It’s not working.
I had this White Russian bit, but I’m not even positive that’s the name of a drink. And then have you tried making a joke about the Lightning gun? You feel like Mr Freeze from Batman.
“This thread is electric!!!”
Yeah, nope. I tried. Wasn’t funny enough.

2 Likes

This is why we dont let you Evolve.

2 Likes

Whatever do you mean?

I don’t Evolve, I eat and eat until my evolve meter is full, and then I just keep eating. I eat so much that eventually, I can slip up close to the Hunters, and pounce Daisy. Then I can slip in and take her place, and Maggie never notices. She implied once that she thought Daisy looked thinner, but never realized I was a stage one Goliath. :goliath_roar:

2 Likes

I sense a troll in the post…

No @MidnightRoses like on your post yet? Blasphemy!

You know, I was disappointed with that, I thought it would make her laugh. :stuck_out_tongue: