The love/hate relationship with my girl, Evolve - NSFW


#1

The bugs seem to get more plentiful with each addition to the game. It’s bad, very bad. At times there is a serious love/hate relationship with Evolve and I.

It’s like Evolve goes out and cheats on me and then I take her back, but this happens over and over again. She’s such a bitch, but goddamn is she perfect for those few faithful moments. I’m like, “Evolve baby, please don’t make me regret fingering your disc hole again” and then she says, “No disconnects this time honey, I’m. All. Yours. Press my buttons until I sceam like a Banshee Mine”…

And my god do I press her buttons like there’s no tomorrow for Shear. I press them so hard that I erupt into Stage 2 and then even harder until I can’t hold it any longer and I’m roaring like a Stage 3 Goliath. I’m wrecking that hunter ass and then… I lose connection to the host, or whatever bullshit excuse she comes up with this time. But I always take her back… I always do. Despite her many flaws she’s still the best experience out there right now.


Disappointed with the bugs
#2

There it is again :joy:


#3

Literally dying at this gif xD


#4

I thought it best suited your writing with enough drama, sadness and joy at the same time :wink:
I almost shed a tear when I read that :blush:


#5

You Sir, you seriously deserve a reward of some sort. So much thought and dedication put into this post and the power of the written words it holds is outstanding!

I literally can’t stop laughing 'til I burst out in tears of joy when reading it… Over and over again :joy: :raised_hands:


#6

i feel you bruh, like you have no idea


#7

I read this as, “The love/hate relationship with my girl and Evolve”, and I was gonna be all, “Ditch the girl! Evolve 4lyfe!”.


#8

Why not both? ^.-


#9

Well I mean, the way I read the title, my initial impression was that his girl was making him quit Evolve.


#10

Might need a spoiler filter on that text…it’s rated M for mature.


#11

I love when I dominate as Monster…but then everyone quits after 1 match… I can’t do evacuation because of this issue…It seems like no one wants to go up against a challenging Monster. I usually rock the Goliath… I can sense the rage on one round where they were so close to winning. They had me fleeing like mad at Stage 1…Then I evolved…they almost won by a few more shots but I pulled through…They didn’t stay…I wish they would because that was a very difficult and rewarding match…Which is rare! GG


#12


#13

Where is that kitty from :3


#14

Puss in Boots, a spinoff movie from Shrek.