That is illogical, captain!


That is illogical captain! - Logical inconsistencies in an otherwise fine game

There is a thread on a site named BoardGameGeeks - a site dedicated to board games - where people transform illogical game decisions of games they like into a short funny text (See here).

And lets be real, evolve has some illogical things in it, which totally make sense gameplay wise, but not so much in the game lore.

This should not be a thread to complain, that the game does not make sense (which isn’t the case in my opinion), but just to have a short laugh and then go on.

Just let me make some examples and if you like it: Go on :smile:

-“We have to make sure the civilians can evacuate safely. Build two shielded gates in front of the ship”
-“Aye sir!”
-“Oh, and build the generators, which power the shields, outside”
-“Uhhm… sir? Why would we do that?”
-“Oh, you know. Just in case we lock ourself out.”
-“You mean to get back in?”
-“By destroying the generators?”
-“Yes. Oh, and make it that the door opens automatically as soon, as the shield drops out.”

-“Do you see that? That is an elite sloth. Lets kill it.”
-“Sir, this is not the monster we are hunting for.”
-“Yes, but if we kill it we will do more damage on the monster”
-“What? How is this possible?”
-“I do not know. Maybe we have to spill the blood on our amunition and then it makes the bullets more angry…”


Well yu could argue that the wildlife has glands that they are harvesting for a temporary boost.

What’s really illogical however is all the healing stuff working on bucket


Most of the planets are taken over by the wildlife and the monsters so building the generators outside was done when the planet was colonised, there are a few reasons why you should do this :slight_smile: .


“We’re going to build a giant power plant. Lets make sure it has plenty of entrances that can fit 30 foot tall creatures through, what could go wrong, right?”


The big entrances could be so they can repair/replace generator parts whenever they want to, again it would be build without any danger at the time.


“Sir the planet is overrun by giant monsters that eat everything in the way, should we evacuate?”
“Yes of course good plan!”
“Shall we send some soldiers to support the evacuation?”
“Nah 12 hunters should be enough!”
“Only 12 Sir?”
“You are right! Make sure only 4 hunters at a time are on the planet!”


“don’t worry guys back up’s on the way”
“drop ships here!”
“you guys happy to see me”
“why? is there somthin on my face?”
“dude! you died like two minutes ago! I saw the thing eat your corpes”
“so what?”
“so what are you? a zombie!?”


during this conversation:

:lazarus: “meh…”


To be fair about this one, you are in the arm pit of the ass end of the universe. There is no military around. You were the closest thing that they were able to get in time.


“I have a medigun that can solve almost any physical damge done to your body in a matter of seconds!”
“Good, let’s make sure there’s only one of these on the ground all the time.”

Same with Damage Amp, Caira’s grenades, Shield projector, Burst Heal, Cloaking devices, Personal Shield and Adrenaline Field. Or pretty much any weapon you can think of. Except for maybe the Lazarus Device, that thing is known to be a one-of-its-kind.


“Hello hunters, we will go hunt this beast with only 4 of us going at a time”
“Why not just send all 12 of us at once?”
“Cause it needs to be a fair fight”
“But don’t we want to kill it? Not let It have a chance to kill us?”
“Nah. It may best us but we can clone ourselves later”
“Why not just nuke the beast?”
“Cause that’s not as cool”


:kraken_stare: Feels like laying eggs at once. Looks around the map for prominent locations, lays six of them quite separately from each other.

Hunters arrive.

Hatches an egg. Hatched creature is a Goliath instead.
:goliath_roar: Looks up to its mother. Feels out of place.

Then the Goliaths are revolted with life and nobody knows why.


(once on the planet…)
“Sir, are those dozens of Goliath kind of a welcoming comittee ?..”
“Well, I guess the meaning of fair fight is a little different on this planet… Tell Bucket to bring back the othe…Eh, why is the ship leaving us ?!”


Monster just wrecked Bucket and fled the scene.

Hyde: Oy, it’s scraped, mate, we got’build a new suit for’em.

Lazarus: Nonsense, behold my medical genius! (uses Lazarus Device)

Bucket: Ah, ready-to-serve once more.

Hyde: Tha’fuck is this!?

Griffin: I’ve seen wilder shit, mate. You seen it fix Markov’s suit yet, Hyde?


I do love how bucket is like:

:bucket: “MECHANIC! … oh wait… I mean MEDIC!!!”


:bucket: “Daisy just revived me with her tongue…not going to think about that”

Seriously, the writing is genius :stuck_out_tongue:


For the obvious reason that if you build the generator for the Patterson Effect inside a Patterson shield, you create a feedback loop that results in thermonuclear explosion.

The shields are automated defense systems designed to protect against dumb wildlife. How the monsters know to attack the generator is a. . .mystery.

I'll be on the stream tomorrow talking about Monster Lore
Questionable Lore Discussion Thread

The hunters were not hired to help with the evacuation, they were hired to help with the wildlife. It’s a six-month dive to Shear. By the time they arrived, the monsters had gotten there first and overrun the place. At that point, it was an evacuation.


A question about the monsters, it’s fine if you can’t answer… Have they been seen / known about from anywhere else, or have they only been found on Shear?


If I’m remembering correct, the are reports of monsters invading other planets, but they just wreck the planet so fast, nothing can be done. Though it’s far out, Shear is a pretty large planet, so they were able to receive some assistance this time.


That’s really cool to know, thanks =D