Stranded and Sad [Update]


#1

Update:

So I’ve been a bit bland on what happened.

Tuesday last week I got my car back from the mechanic-dealership because I needed some things fixed.

Well after $1200 of problems being fixed, I was going to drive my car down to Phenoix AZ since I go to ASU, from Denver CO. Well when going down I-25 and taking a right onto I-40, about an hour outside of Albuquerque NM, my transmission got fucked.

About 3 hours into my roadtrip I started having problems, where my speedometer would just drop to 0 randomly. I pulled over and tried to find out why, which I couldn’t. I got back on the road and it worked… until it fell back to 0 again about 10 minutes later, but this time with a smell. I pulled over, couldn’t find out why, and got back on the road and it seemed normal again.

Then after a few times, my car wouldn’t recognize what MPH or RMP I was at, so when trying to accelerate I would be at 5000 RPMs and increasing while only going 20 MPS. I then found the problem, where if I pass 4000 RPMs my speedometer would fall to 0 and my transmission would start acting wonky. I got through Albuquerque via staying around 3000 RMPs but that was all fine and dandy until I got an hour outside. That’s when my transmission was fully blown.

Not once did I get a engine light and my dad had to come rescue me and pick up the car. So tomorrow my dad is going to tear into the mechanics and dealership because dropping $1200 into a car with 60,000 miles only to have the transmission blow up 5 days later is unacceptable.

However when I got picked up my dad dropped me off at the Albuquerque Airport so I could fly back to AZ, which I did this Sunday morning.

Now I’m back at my room, and I have food poisoning so fml.

So I’m safe, but I’ve been fucked so hard the past year that I seriously feel like I’m insane.

  • I ended HS with a 2.99 GPA, and O F C the cutoff to get into the Engineering program is 3.0, so I got put into undeclared
  • Undeclared has their own dorms at ASU, and It’s right in the middle of the business dorms, which for those who don’t know most of the popular kids from HS go to get business majors, so I haven’t been able to make any friends, since they only care about Football, the Gym, and Sex, which I have more values than just those 3.
  • First week of College I had bedbugs.
  • Second week, Food poisoning.
  • Third week, my bike got stolen.
  • Throughout the semester I struggled to get to my classes on the other side of campus since I had no bike.
  • I failed most of my classes.
  • Depression

Then this semester/year so far:

  • I got removed from most of my classes since I didn’t meet the requirements, and I had to drop the 2 that I was taking, so I can’t boost my GPA.
  • I got a roommate who is the cookie-cutter version of a fuckboy who, once again, only cares about the Gym, Football, and sex, all while going fora business major. I think I’m too harsh when judging him, but said roommate hasn’t acknowledged my existence since the day he moved in.
  • When going to a seminar on how to get my life back on track I talked to 2 people and halfway through the conversation they stop acknowledging my existence (This was strange, as we were having a fine convo but it’s like the wind just changed direction and I stopped existing).
  • I had to take an unnecessary 40 minute detour last Saturday when vising my aunt for my birthday.
  • My parents basement flooded last Sunday.
  • My car got $1200 worth of repairs that are now irrelevent.
  • My sisters computer got fried.
  • My car’s transmission failed halfway through my roadtrip to Arizona.
  • And now I have food poisoning, and a 0.4 GPA.

Seriously I have a few things going for me right now, and I need to vent because this shit all happened in a year and despite people telling me “that it will get better” it really hasn’t. Each passing day I lose the will to live because I’m blown away that my life has gotten this fucked up.

With all of that said, I’m not ignorant of the positive stuff like my dad driving 8 hours to come rescue me, pick up my car, and drive back 6 hours (in total, he drove 19 hours in a day since my older sister needed to be dropped off at the airport in Denver), or how I’ve been meeting some nice people on Tinder, and one girl is creepily like me as in we have 99% of the same stuff in common (which sucks since I don’t plan on staying in AZ since I’m failing College, and I don’t have a working vehicle to take her on dates), as well as a few other things like you all listening to my bitching and horrendous adventure.

Just note that I care about these forums greatly and is one of my greatest highlights this past year as well as one of my highlights of my life so far. I’m about 70% sure that when I home over the summer that I’ll get a tattoo of the Evolve footprint on my upper back since It means so much to me, probably in ways that no body else can fathom

image

In the meantime, I’ll just keep trucking through life and hopefully it gets better. I’m not going anywhere.


#2

#3

Don’t worry I’m sure things will work out, don’t give up. Don’t let those bad emotions win buddy.


#4

Hey man, seems like you’re in a pretty shitty situation, please let us know if you got out of it okay?


#5


#6

Don’t give up skeleton!


#7

You ask for meme

Here a meme

There a meme

Everywhere a meme, meme


#8

sends Imaginary Switch console


#9

I’m glad you feel attached to this forum. I know I did too for a long time.

When life keeps kicking you down the only thing that lets you get up is your desire to do so.

So maintain that desire.


#10

The change in everything when you head to college is overwhelming, especially for people that thought/think that they had everything in order with their life (or at least that what life was offering is a known quantity to them).

The main thing is that you leave yourself open to opportunity. It’s super easy to write people off as not having any depth because it appears, and the stereotype, may be that they only care about the things you list that you aren’t so interested in… but don’t dismiss them too quickly. What little strong connections bind people overcome the many more weaker differences that you have, and a new environment isn’t the place to jump too quickly to judge.

That said, most people aren’t going to be people you’ll want to worry about getting to know, and that’s ok too. It’s entirely normal that most people you meet aren’t going to be people you need to worry about. If you get down about seemingly being a fish out of water remember that by and large people will still congregate into groups of only a dozen or so actually real friendships. I went through the whole of my university experience and would have only socialised with perhaps a dozen people too, if it weren’t for opportunities I took with extra-curricular groups and the students’ union (or whatever you call it over there).

But it sounds rough, no matter how you cut it, it’s clearly been a run of shitty things. The most important thing, which you seem to be on top of, is recognising that it’s coincidence and misfortune that these bad things seem to be happening. It is human nature, it seems, to linger on the bad and not the good so it’s really good that you’re also finding the positives… keep doing that!

Discovering the new you (or at least traversing the current you) through this new chapter is going to be a slow burn, and it’s going to take commitment from you to take and make opportunities. I genuinely didn’t start to settle in fully and feel like I was building something until the second year.

And if that isn’t going to be something you can do, which is entirely understandable because sometimes things just aren’t meant to be… then don’t get twisted about that. You talk about perhaps leaving college, understand that if you are unhappy and getting depressed about what’s going on, if you aren’t able to find a route through this or find the help needed to get you on that route, then there’s no shame in doing what’s best for your mental health.

Look after yourself, and keep talking about it with someone, or in public with those of us here if you feel happier doing that. Understand that shitty car mechanics and crazy illness aside there’s been others that have been through the same and feel your pain, and can understand the kind of stuff you might want to unload.