Post-Game Chat Stories


I won a match earlier today as Wraith when I was paid one of the best compliments I’ve ever had on Evolve:

“No, he played a perfect Wraith. We lost because you never healed us, you might as well have been a f*cking trapjaw”

Anyone else got a good story of post-match banter?



Nothing like that. That’s beautiful.

I did once have a guy send me a message saying I was the most fun monster his team ever played against. I felt pretty smug about that one.


It goes both ways too, I once had someone play me 3 times over the course of an hour and lose each time. He then went to my Steam profile and wrote “i hope all ur family will die as soon possible fucking unskilled shit”.

He’s still on my friends list, which amuses me.


man i have a whole folder of this stuff bc im easily amused

i have a whole story about what was goin on with this dude. it was an experience, but basically he was dead set on murdering me over my steam name


Go on then, story time!


Wow. That guy needs to go to some mental facility. If you want to murder someone over a username, then you need dire help.

Oh, and story time please.


Some people just can’t take a competitive scene. I vividly remember a WoW battleground back in the day where a dude left mid-game to make a level 1 horde char and sling abuse at me. It was hilarious.


I had a guy roll a new toon just to talk smack because I initiated a vote kick when he ninja’d my loot, so good.


well i mean there was more reasons but the steam name is what initially made him… upset. he said worse things and left the game after but it was pretty funny in a way.

i don’t think i should post that stuff here tho cuz i don’t rly wanna fire up any discussions seeing it was about a, uh, ‘sensitive’ subject.


Maybe message us? That way no one but the three of us can see it. If you don’t want to, that’s fine. I’ll respect your choice either way.


I’ve had people call me a hacker post game for hitting them mid air with a rock throw. :joy:
But it’s like, if I pull up a Rock, and you jetpack over me, all I have to do is aim straight up; it seems evasive but it’s more like one of those Han Solo moments where he’s all, ‘don’t worry I’ve got some maneuvers,’ and then veers slightly left.


I’d love to know, but if you don’t want to go into it I won’t pry. Like he said though, there’s always direct messages :smiley:


I was playing some Hunt on Broken Hill Foundry with 2 other guys who knew what they were doing and had mics. It was a Hyde, Abe, Kala comp with the 4th player taking Slim vs a Wraith.

Overall it was a pretty close game, especially considering that that Slim player wasn’t healing us. We spent the first half of the match yelling at the medic to heal us, and the second half joking about how 4 healbursts in a dome was a new record. Anyway the Monster ended up winning.

So the 3 of us were talking about how well we were playing (got that Wraith to 1 third of its health by the end) and that if our medic actually knew how to heal we would’ve won. Suddenly we hear a rustle and that little microphone by the medic’s gamertag lit up:

“I was the only one who knew what they were doing in that match”.

We couldn’t believe it. The medic player only plugged his mic in after the match to defend himself. He goes on to say how he was the only player who had picked a good character and that Hyde, Abe and Kala were all terrible picks. Practically the reason we lost accoring to him.

So we respond by saying that we spent most of that match at half health or on the dropship due to the fact that you never healed us. His response?

“Well if you wanted healing you should have asked for it”.

Morover when presented with that fact that we were constantly calling out for heals he simply says “I didn’t hear you. Maybe you should ask louder next time”.

Still makes me laugh to this day.

TL:DR - Medic dosent heal us all game and afterwards says that “if you wanted healing you should have asked for it” all the while pretending that he was the MVP.


Nice, that’s the kind of supreme egocentric denial I’ve come to love about people on the internet. Imagine if you were in a WoW raid or something equivalent and you let the tank die because “He didn’t ask for healing”, the shitstorm that would rain down on you would be biblical. Bards would write songs about it…


I know right? What’s worse is that it would be the tank (and everyone else) screaming “heal the f**king tank!” and they’d just be like “well I didn’t hear it so I guess it’s still your fault”.


Yep, and they’d get booted from raid and guild so fast they’d leave a moron-shaped hole in the wall


Before I ended up with my team I once got complimented by the Assault and the Monster on my Cabot at the end of a game.

And when Kala got released, I took her online after getting all her gear up to 2-stars, played in a game of arena (skirmish) and got complimented on my Kala atfer the game was over.

There was also one point with 3/4s of my team (that’s including me) where we came across the same guy several times in a row, we lost 2 games, and won one, IIRC, and after that he messaged us with ggs, we added him to our party chat and then our friends list as he joined our team for the remainder of the evening, and we played with this guy again several more times before 5.0 dropped and I started my break.


Twice as the monster where I just listened to the hate and disbelief of the Hunters.
The 1st time was the second time I played as the Gorgon. I was against Parnell, Abe, Val, and Hank. It was the Fusion Plant map. To be fair the Gorgon just came out 2 or 3 days before, so they weren’t used to her.
At the end, we fought at the relay. I kept swinging from wall to wall while spitting, spider trapping, and pouncing. Eventually I incapped everyone then the Trapper was screaming,
"Oh my God. What the fuck is this bullshit? We couldn’t even break the armor. That stupid… spider thing is way too overpowered. Turtle Rock is going to Nerf the hell out of it. I swear to God."
So much salt. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

The 2nd was with the Wraith during the Challenge weekend where you had to win with her as stage 1 or 2. This one I did record. It was at the Weather Station against Lennox, Abe, Hank, and Slim.
I had set off some birds but didn’t flee. I made a bold move of deciding to charge at the Hunters. Long story short, it was a perfect game that lasted 10 minutes. I call it 'A Stage 1 Beatdown’
At the end they were almost speechless. :no_mouth:
The Assault broke the silence with a "Wow."
I think it was the Medic who followed with, “Oh man. She wasted us at Stage 1.”


Nothing takes the cake like the trump guy, also look at them Ciara heels.


I’ve been there. :smirk: I hate when Medics are played by someone with great skill in douchebaggery. I’ve fought with and against Emet players who abandon the team just before a fight. Simply to wait for everyone to die so they can rank up the Respawn Beacon.