FYI this is going to be a long rant thread.
Just played 3 rounds of Evac with probably the worst team I’ve ever had the misfortune of playing with.
The first round was Hunt (as is usual) where I joined midgame. I was already dead (as Caira) and so was Parnell, and they both had 2 strikes. It turns out the monster was STILL STAGE 1, but of course he’s ‘Amazing OP’ and didn’t vote to restart even though 3 of us were new players. Not only that, but both me and Parnell spawned with 2 strikes.
I wondered what kind of shitty Caira would have 2 strikes at stage 1, but then Abe got the monster in an arena, and both Bucket and Abe then proceeded to do fuck all. About 2 turrets and one grenade whilst the monster was making a massive beeline for me. I managed to survive for about 30 seconds (SOMEHOW) with 2 strikes vs a Goliath who hated my guts with basically 0 help, after which he just mopped the rest of the team.
So I was like ‘Whatever, it was probably the shitty assault + medic before us and we’ll do better next match.’ Not so. Not so at all.
It was Nest (which I always see as monster sided, but anyway), and as we were out of the jumpship, the monster already hatched an egg.
And the team fucking split up.
Not 3-1, or 2-2, no. They run in 3 different directions.
When there’s a minion running about at stage 1.
What the hell is wrong with these people?
I decided to follow Parnell, because we had probably the best chance of at least killing the minion if we had to 2v2, and, as usual, the minion and the monster both made a beeline for me, and the minion actually managed to punch me into the one of a million plants in this level (due to the ‘extra plants’ perk the monster had).
And I 100-0’d in that plant despite Parnell standing right next to me, because apparently shooting a minion is much more important than saving your medic with one shot.
He then, predictably, died whilst Crow and Bucket were off somewhere killing their own eggs. Crow got 2v1 butchered, as expected, whilst Bucket decided to 1v1 an Armodon and lost, so we had another loss.
Then it was Rescue. The monster got lucky and was already at the spawn point before we landed. I managed to get there right as he was eating the last survivor and got 2 healing bursts (as Slim) off before he killed her, and I realised that ONLY MAGGIE was with me. Both Bucket and Torvald were nowhere to be seen. Well fuck, 2-0, we really gotta pick up the pace.
I found a movement speed perk, so took it and SPRINTED to the other 2 survivors, and actually beat the Goliath to them. (I also beat both Torvald + Bucket to them, even though they had ~100 meter headstart, because they decided running towards the monster was more important than our actual win condition, so they were running in the complete wrong direction.) I revived them both with my bug’s help, just as the goliath arrived.
Oh wait, I’m on my own.
He wipes one of the survivors with little I can do before Maggie shows up again and scares him off, and we rescue ONE survivor.
I check the map, notice that Bucket and Torvald are nowhere fucking near again.
I literally revived both survivors and waited out the whole timer, and they were still 100 meters away. And they had a head start.
I ragequit. Fuck that game.
If I say so myself, I’m actually a pretty decent player, so PLEASE can I not be matched with these awful, awful players who don’t understand simple concepts? I don’t mind getting outplayed (the monster WAS a good player), but I’d like a team that’s at least somewhat reasonable, and SOMEWHERE close to my skill level.