New Monster after Behemoth Revealed? (Satire)


#1

Turtle Rock Studios have just announced today, on their website, the newest monster that will be prowling gamer’s pockets within the next few months — the “Dollar Bill.”

The creature stands twenty feet tall and is a ranged-attack monster using its abilities from mainly medium range or long distances. The monsters primary moves involve attacking the users’ virtual funds from their Steam, Microsoft, or PlayStation wallet funds. If you collect enough virtual money from the hunters you can then evolve the monster by purchasing which moves you want to upgrade for twenty five cents each, or your regional equivalent. The only drawback to this is you won’t be able to evolve if the hunters don’t have enough money.

They’ve also already made a new skin pack for the monster on day one of its release. The skin pack will include the 1863 dollar bill, the first to be used as legal tender with a portrait of Salmon P. Chase, the 1886 bill with Martha Washington, which was the first to have a woman on U.S. currency, and the Sacagawea golden dollar coin of the famous Indian guide who assisted Lewis and Clark.

The monster is set to be released on payday for $9.99 and the skin pack for $4.99.


#2


#3

Oh my god, everyone stop with the rants!


#4

This was more poking fun at all the negative press and also all the blindly loyal fanboys defending any criticism . Its not my genuine opinion just a bit of a satirical giggle.


#5


#6

Oh. Thank god. I thought ypu were ranting about it.


#7

Nah man im never emotionally invested enough in a video game to feel either the fan boy rage or consumer conspiracy theorists. I do like to laugh at all the people who fall into those categories though. (See above “butthurt” comment for example )


#8

If only people read the whole title before replying lol.