How to deal with a parent that always hurls insults at you


#1

I need help. My mom is a fucking idiot all she does is insult me and say I’m stupid or she screams at me for hours on end for not doing some little thing wrong. I have never heard her say a single nice thing about me, even in front of other people, she will just constantly insult me. I’m fucking done i want to kill myself everytime she speaks to me. Please help.


#2

Call CPS. That’s the best thing you can do if the situation is truly toxic.


#3

Where do you live? (Country wise.) I don’t want to jump to conclusions but if it’s worse than just petty squabbles while you’re a teenager, call Social Services. Or like Chromatic said, CPS. (Child Protection Services). I don’t have a fully story but what you described is a form of neglect.


#4

Have you tried bringing up how it makes you feel when she says these things? Not necessarily at the time, but when you’re not arguing with each other?

It might help to be open with her and let her know it’s hurting you that she doesn’t seem to try to support or help you when you’re doing something wrong, and that you’re relying on her to be that support. But also let her know you understand that you, if you do understand, might seem to be a handful for her and that you want to know what you can do to help her life seem less stressful.

If this is a conversation you can’t have with her when both of you are calm, especially if either of you get defensive during that conversation, you might need to talk to someone about mediation.

None of us can know your situation, but relationships with parents at this time are fraught with conflict, but just because they are the older one doesn’t mean that it can’t be you that brings some maturity to the situation to try and break down barriers. Just beware that while she could accept and be humbled by your honesty, she could see it also as an attack and as condescension, so it is important to meaningfully discuss this with her in a way and environment that isn’t likely to make it seem like you’re trying to belittle her.

Let us know where you are country wise and I’m sure that some of us can point you in the direction of 3rd party support


#5

How old are you?


#6

She doesn’t care. She hates me. She wants to see me suffer. I try to do as much as I can to help her. She just continues to scream at me and pretend like she does everything for the whole house. She acts like I am trying to kill her.


#7

I don’t want to do that kind of stuff. It’ll probably get messy with police and stuff and i don’t want any of that. I just want help to deal with the shit she hurls at me. Usually I jut sit there and let her scream but I want to die every second of it. I need some serious help, because this happens on a constant basis.


#8

So, this is probably why you should get mediation, you may be telling the truth, I’m not judging because I literally cannot know your situation, but it is also possible and likely that you can only see this from your perspective as it stands. If you want this to get better then you need to get advice from a professional.


#9

I am thirteen.


#10

My mom just constantly uses things like how I failed at something to try to make hurt me. I try to deal with it mainly just by sitting there. By now, I get insulted so much I don’t even care. When she sees me sitting there, she just gets more aggressive and attacks me even more. I want her to stfu.

When she is not insulting me, she bullshitting how I do nothing to help her out when everyday, it’s me who’s making food for the whole family or washing the dishes or mowing the lawn or taking my sister to her class.


#11

No parent would want their kid to suffer, nor they would hate them. Calm yourself, man. Is your mother going through stressful stuff?


#12

She literally said to me: “when I see you, I want to die”.

Or she will say something like I’d rather die than have a kid like you.

You sure about what you said?


#13

The only time I can ever get away from the abuse is during school and any classes I take. Weekends are hell for me because i don’t have school.


#14

I believe there must be reason behind it. I’ve had similar stuff with my parents. Have you done something wrong to her?


#15

I fuck up a lot, I admit, but not cause I want to do something bad to her. I just am a stupid person that’s all. But then she twists it like everything I do is some kind of conspiracy to kill her.


#16

I’d like to ask again, is she going through some stressful stuff? I have no way to be sure, of course, but her actions seem like outbursts of anger.


#17

Yes, my dad is in China because my grandfather died. So she is alone as a single parent rn. I try to help her. I drop off my sister to her dance class, I try to do my own shit by myself, I make food for everyone, I mowed our lawn, I wash the dishes, I try to do my work. She doesn’t care about what I do. She thinks I do nothing to try and help.


#18

Unfortunately, this is not true, and is exactly the reason why CPS exists.


#19

No “Normal” parent*

Of course, there are unfortunate exceptions.


#20

Your seems to be going through a rough time, but the whole taking it out on you has to stop