No need to be sorry! In fact, I’m glad you gave some pretty solid reasons about why you feel that way about her, just like Mountain did before, unlike so many people on the internet who only love to bash her character just because. Nevertheless, I do want to share my point of view on certain things that you have mentioned.
She’s demanding him to bend the knee to at least get a guarantee that he will not betray her once she decides to help him. I mean, just like you said Jon doesn’t know crap about her, Dany also doesn’t know a thing about him. So why is he demanding her to drop everything she’s doing? How would someone react if a random King comes to you, tells you that you should abandone all your ambitions and dreams and risk your army and dragons to fight an enemy you don’t even know exist? Tyrion told Jon about this and just by seeing Jon’s reaction you could tell that he actually agreed with Tyrion. I have noticed that a lot people got angry when they saw Dany being strict and cautious with Jon Know, but just because we know who Jon Snow is, it doesn’t mean that Dany knows who he is and his intentions.
So it’s not only Dany, both Jon and her are being overly stubborn and dense, they need time to actually start trusting each other, so I think we should cut her some slack.
She wants to be queen of the seven kingdoms, which means, the lords who are currently not supporting her need to bend the knee, the same way Stannis demanded his enemies to bend the knee because he thought he was the rightful ruler. Just because they don’t know who she is it doesn’t mean that she can’t demand the other lords to bend knee, didn’t Aegon did the same? I’m not saying this is good nor bad, but I thought a queen or king demanding loyalty from their enemies (once defeated) or from other lords was something normal to do when you start conquering.
To be honest, the new system that she wants to implement is still ambiguous, so we still don’t know what kind of rein she plans to have. But what we do know (well, what I think I know) is that she’s a hundred times better than the recent rulers of KL, because her main focus is to help the common people and make a difference and not just sit on the throne and enjoy the life of a queen. We all know she isn’t a good ruler, even though I believe her Mereen arc wasn’t used to show us how bad of a ruler she is, but about her learning from her mistakes, but with the right guidance, I do believe she can be an incredible ruler.
Edit: Also, I think Dany knows she can’t have a child, so having a dynasty is out of the question for her at the moment. So I think she believes that the throne should be earned and not gifted and that’s why Tyrion and Dany want to win people’s hearts before taking the throne.
2nd edit: I mean, people can give me a thousand reasons on why Dany is not likeable and can understand why they would think that, but I can also give them a thousand reasons why Dany is likeable in my point of view, but for now, nothing is absolute. That’s why I’m both terrified and excited to see where her story is leading.
Third and last edit: Sorry for all the edits, that’s what happens when I write from my phone and not my laptop xD.