I wrote a little poem,
It’s just for you and me,
And to follow the forum’s trend,
It’s called ‘Everyone’s OP’.
You see Maggie’s dog is hard to lose,
and Hank’s shield isn’t fair.
He’s not Assault, that’s not his job,
And the devs don’t seem to care!
Hyde’s fire goes a bit too far,
And Abe’s Nades last for far too long,
And Cabot’s range of ‘infinite’
Seems to be a little strong.
The kraken’s flying far too fast,
it makes it hard to hit,
The goliath tanks too well for me,
And wraith? That piece of ****.
Bucket’s head just can’t be beat,
Nor can Markov’s mines,
And Griffin’s permapoon gun,
Has many monsters in a bind.
And Parnell? Please, don’t start with me,
His rockets hit too fast,
Just how can I beat someone,
who can cut his health in half?!
Val and Caira can HEAL UP?
Not fair, devs, hear my call!
At least Lazarus can’t do that-
OH WAIT, HE REZZED THEM ALL.
The plants chomp me to bits,
The mammoth birds all zap me dead,
And the hell is wrong with crowbill sloths,
after four shots to the head?!
AND DON’T EVEN BRING UP OBSIDIAN GRUBS,
Those guys should be removed!
So should striders, Ebonstars, turrets, nomads,
They’re all throwing off my groove!
UGH, I guess it’s up to me,
to lead us on the path we need.
We ought to shut down the entire game,
because EVERYONE’S OP!
(I’d just like to say I love evolve and this is just a joke post, do not take this srs.)