In this time of excitement and dread, I’ve a dire confession to make…
I never died. Not once. I gave fifteen hours to the Big Alpha, at least 10 of them as a monster, and as that monster, beloved Goliath (and a few Krakens), I never lost a single round. The trauma of the last few hours, unable to stop playing but bizarrely, perfectionistically obsessed with the idea that I COULD NOT LOSE, COULD NOT DIE, COULD NOT LET MY BROOD GO WITHOUT THEIR FIREY HOT MAMA D:>
And… Now I have to accept that I am going to. I am saying this as a means of ritualistically dropping my infuriating ego. I will die, I will lose rounds, my monster will be hounded to the ends of the earth and shot until he barely carries a drop of blood and blind, furious will alone can no longer animate his heavy, heavy limbs.
I will be sad. I may even feel anger at those puny mosquitoes that stung, and stung, and stung no matter how many I swatted down.
… but that’s okay… because we had our good times. We survived the whole Alpha.
Goliath won’t blame me. I gave him a good ride.
It’s okay… right? Tell me it’s okay to die =(
I present myself for your bullets. Today the monster will die. Get it over with quickly, so I can get back to enjoying this game without this bizarre compulsion holding me back from easy fun ;-;
… Thank you.
(if anyone has any thoughts on similar obsessive traits that manifest when playing games, do share - I’d like to know I’m not the only mad crazy who occasionally CANNOT LOSE and goes into hypactive overdrive, or fixates upon a particular self-defined objective. There were these marines in Halo 2 and I… No, nevermind…)