Confess Your Evolve Sins Redux


#1

Since the old threat got closed, I figured we should still have a confessional. I’ll start…

Today I was placed in a Hunt match against 3 Determining Ranks. I decided to play Gorgon since playing Wraith (my main) would have just been cruel, little did I know…

They were as you’d expect - a bit slow to dodge, fairly unpracticed at tracking etc. I staged up in the cave at the bottom of the Dam (the raised part with the Reavers) then put down a spider trap along my footprints and slung up to the ceiling (I ADORE Gorgon on Dam, there are so many high perches you can cling to…)

They ran through, to their credit the spider trap didn’t get anyone, but I chose my target and pounced, taking off a huge chunk of Parnell straight off the bat (I sometimes mix up the Assault backpacks for medic wings). I wound up downing every hunter, but Daisy survived and I was having too much fun exploring all the places I could cling to on the map so I slung off and let them all get back up…

Second verse same as the first, and I wound up with all 4 of them coming back on the dropship with 2 strikes while I was clamped to the wall in plain view above where they land at the generator…

So far this story makes me sound like a jackass, I admit to this freely, but the next part even more so…

I wiped the entire team without unsticking from the wall.

I will now take the advice of the legendary Eddie Izzard and go say five 'Hail Mary’s and two 'Hello Dolly’s.

What have you guys got? I can’t be the only one who succumbs to the internal arsehole once in a while. When were you mean? When were you a complete dick? When did you pick Sunny? Discuss!


#2

I knocked Bucket into a plant. Blitzkov kept on running. Everyone else was dead.

Bucket just kept screaming and yelling.

I stood there watching.

.-.


#3

Sometimes I would play wraith against noobs, just so I could watch them leave the lobby when the match was over.


#4

Three weeks before Sunny got her last big kit nerf, I was struggling with my main Support Hank, and I kept costing my team matches. I felt like I lost my touch with him and that the nerfs to him weren’t helping, so I caved in and stuck with Sunny for two weeks. I felt terrible about it, because I knew at least 102% of monsters hated seeing her all the time as well as fighting her, but our loss streak was wearing us down.

Just before the patch hit I went back to Hank and started playing him a lot better once again, but my momentary cave-in feels like it gave me a special place in Evolve hell considering Sunny’s state at the time. :anguished:


#5

I always catch myself roll-spamming with my main man Bob :stuck_out_tongue:


#6

I was eating pizza while as monsa


#7

My sin is having no sins except I will put the monster or hunter on AI while I do something else


#8

When people vote to skip a hunt and it lands on Defend, I play Behemoth.


#10


#11

I chased a Kala into a cave…

Scared a mammoth bird from the other side…

R.I.P Kala