Am I Insensitive?

My uncle passed away earlier today and it’s the first time anyone so close to me has died.

I haven’t cried yet and I’m not quite sure how to react… Everyone around me is broken hearted right now and right now I’m at my grandma’s house waiting for the rest of the family to get here to break the news to her.

I think it’s either because it hasn’t truly hit me or that I have to pretend it hasn’t happened for my grandma’s sake but again I haven’t really broken down yet.


I haven’t cried in a long time. As a kid I’d cry all the time like daily little things like my brother stopping me from watching my show would set me off and then I stopped.

The closest I came to crying was at the funeral of a friend who killed himself I was still sad but crying doesn’t mean you are sad and not crying doesn’t mean you aren’t.

Yeah I guess… I’m more in shock right now than anything really.

Different people react in different ways. I don’t think I cried at any of my grandparents’ funerals (came really close to it for my Gran though). Sometimes you are just shocked. I was sorry for everybody around me and wishing I did a little more for 'em before they passed away, but really just ended up in deep thought about memories with them instead of being upset.

1 Like

Not necessarily insensitive. Just different. Some people don’t even express their grief in those ways.

1 Like

That’s a normal reaction in some people. A bit rare, but documented, you don’t have to worry about your own state. I’ve felt that way before after my grandfather passed, and… I’m convinced it’s just another kind of grieving.

When my uncle died, I didn’t cry until they were putting him in the ground. I was okay until I looked over to my dad, and saw him crying. It hit me that he was watching his little brother being buried.

Tears started flowing, and I went over to give him a hug.

1 Like

Different people grieve differently. Me? I use humor to diffuse the tension and to mask the sadness. I laugh, joke around, act like nothing happened. At least your grieving method isn’t as bad or considered as, “insensitive”, as mine.

My dad died earlier this summer and even that didn’t hit me right away. I organized the entire funeral before things really got bad. I am now 3 months out and struggle to make it though a single day without tearing up.

Edit: I guess the point is that it takes time for huge things like this to sink in.

You are just in shock my friend(more like than is not), my uncle died two years ago this september and my grandmother died 3 months ago.

The grieving process usually doesn’t hit until later, with my uncle, i did not cry until the funeral service and once I was there, there wasn’t anything to think about except for him and the moments i had with him and that was when i cried.

My grandmother wasn’t as bad because It was not taht big a surprise and wewere prepared for it since she was in hospital for 3 weeks before she died but it only really hit me until the service.

Just saying that you should expect it to hit later, just not yet because denial is part of the grieving process.

1 Like

My condolences.

The only family member I was close to other than my brother and my mother was my Grandmother. When she passed away, I didn’t start crying until a while after the funeral, when I was helping moving her stuff out of her house.

It’s just as you say, you don’t know how to react, which is just fine.

Shock will wear off in a week or 2.

It’ll come eventually. Same when my dog died over a year ago.
The people around me eventually started assuming I never cared in the slightest.

But I miss him everyday.

People react in different ways, and sometimes the “traditional” way of grief only hits you after a period of time. Don’t worry about how you’re acting or feeling, it’ll only serve to make you consider being false about your real feelings, and that isn’t healthy.